The Reason I Don't Exist on Social Networking Sites

Stalkers. Seriously. I've had 4 MySpace accounts, and within a month of opening them, some fucking moron that can't take NO for an answer, feels the need to add and message my friends about me. I prefer Blogger, where people can't track down and harass my friends. I'm going to try out Facebook.

Anyways, I've had several men interested in me for a while. I had been talking to one of them for almost a year, but he turned out to be a psychopath. The other, I've been talking to for a few months, but I feel like he and I are just not on the same page. He wants kids and marriage, and he wants it all now. He's 14 years older than me, so he's ready to settle down. I'm not ready for that.

The third is the one that I really want (that I blogged about last time), but he's also got a few other girls after him, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be the one he picks. I'm going to be seeing him this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it. He says I'm the one he's the most interested in, but I have a kid, and all kinds of other drama.

A big part of me worries that he just wants to fuck me, but I worry about that with every guy I talk to. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to fuck me, but I don't want to be anyone's one night stand. Sometimes I think, "The only reason he's talking to you is because he's bored and wants to get laid, that's it. After he's had it, he'll drop you so fast." I hope that's not the case, but it's hard for me to not think that way.

I'm trying really hard to just look at this coming weekend as a first date type thing. I don't want to get too attached to him, because I'm 80% sure I'm going to lose him to someone else. He did tell me that he wants to bring me to his house and introduce me to his parents. He only does that with girls he's serious about. So, maybe I'm being too hard on myself and too insecure about this whole thing. It's hard for me not to be when he tells me he's getting text messages from a sex crazed bisexual girl he went to high school with that wants him and is planning on moving back to his area. Of course, this girl is cute and skinny and has no kids.

We're both cursed. Whenever I show interest in someone, suddenly every girl they've ever met throws themselves at them. With him, whenever he finds a girl he likes and wants to be with, they leave him or flake out on him. So, it should be interesting to see how this works out.